Hayat Story 4

This war is not like any

previous war, at least not for me. Wars and aggressions are typical for us. Never did we know peace or security. In the thirty years of my life, I was always known for my strength and tenacity in difficult times. I was always the wise and dependable one in the family, especially caring for my ill mother. But this time is not like every other time.

I look after my mother and nephew, who had come to visit and spend some time with his grandmother and aunt (me). On the thirteenth of October, I was sitting with my mother in the corner we deemed to be the safest in the house. Suddenly, we heard the sounds of people screaming and learned at the time that they forced the evacuation of a building nearby because the Israelis were about to bomb it. I couldn’t but yell to my mom and nephew that they will bomb! I don’t know how I picked up the bags I previously prepared, with some of my important papers, pictures of my deceased father (may his soul RIP), and some clothes. I made sure my mom and nephew were ahead of me and we quickly ran down the stairs yelling as loud as we could to warn our neighbors “EVACUATION… EVACUATION…”

At the entrance of our building, our screams met those of my brother’s wife and his two daughters. I looked everywhere around me and could not find my brother. I felt my heart beat in super speed and I got in the car with my mom and nieces. My 6- and 10-year-old nieces were crying hysterically. Then I drove the car outside the parking as I was shouting my brother’s name , “FIND ME MY BROTHER!!”

With all these souls being my responsibility now, I had to drive to a place somewhat away from the shelling. My mom was trying hard to get the phone out to call my brother, but her hands were shaking so hard from shock and terror that she couldn’t call. I remember well how I climbed over the sidewalk , completely overwhelmed with my fear and worry about my brother, about whom I knew nothing. Finally, I stopped the car, picked up the phone, and called my brother, who finally answered. As soon as he answered, I broke into tears as I was terrified something horrible had befallen him! He told me he was going around knocking at the neighbors’ houses to evacuate.

Between my sadness and worries, feelings of pride and gratitude arose because I have a brother who chose to save the lives of others before his own…

I hung up the phone and then looked to the back and saw my nieces crying. I will never forget the sight of my 6-year-old neice who could barely breathe as she looked at me fearful and shivering. When I looked at her, she hugged and kissed me and held on to me for dear life. I could not tell whether she was supporting me or looking for any sense of safety and security in my arms…

Hayat – mental health professional in Gaza, Palestine (anonymous for fear of being targeted)
26 October 2023